The RandomPages #5- The New Year, Matt Smith as The Doctor, The Snake Story

*Hello my many and many adoring fans...yeah, like anyone even reads this. Well I would like to say Happy New Year to everyone. This being the first installment of the New Year naturally I thought I would start it off with a bang. So here for your viewing pleasure is the snake story. I hope you enjoy the New Year and the RandomPages.*

The New Year

Ahh, 2011, can you feel it in the air? The smell of fresh year going into your nose? Feels so fresh, so clean, so new. No? Feels.....just like last year doesn't it? I don't really feel a difference. I don't understand why it is that the New Year is so important. Especially seeing as how everybody was closed for the new year. We went to go fix Melissa's muffler and guess what, every freaking mechanic in the city of Jacksonville is closed. But on a positive note, the detailing place was open...I really shouldn't complain, I got paid time and a half for four hours of work on new year's day. Anyway, everyone makes a new year’s resolution, so I naturally made mine. By January 1, 2012, I want to look fit. That’s right, I, like roughly 2,000,000 other Americans made a resolution to get fit, not lose weight, not get skinny, not work out until the set day then pig out for a year, I mean get fit. I will keep you guys posted on that.


Matt Smith as The Doctor


The Doctor, the single coolest Sci-Fi character in existence, destroyer of Daleks and spider people whose names I couldn't begin to spell. Witty, funny, cool, enigmatic, he is the embodiment of all that is awesome in the Sci-Fi genre. Little more than a year ago Melissa showed me my first episode of Doctor Who, starred Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor. I loved it. He was great, charisma incarnate. From then on I was a fan. Sadly Christopher Eccleston regenerated the same season and became David Tennant, at first I didn't like him as much, but he grew on me. I have been behind the series until today. I have seen Matt Smith as The Doctor. I hate it. For one, he isnt very handsome and the Doctor isn't supposed to be ugly, he's supposed to be charming. His version of the Doctor is not very bright. I admit I haven't seen much of his episodes. The thing is as an actor he is so terrible that I cannot bring myself to even finish the sneak peek episode that is like ten minutes long. He doesn't have the Doctor's fire, that look that he has, the passion. Matt Smith just doesn't work as the Doctor. He just doesn't. I know this is an attempt to lure a younger audience but that’s just not going to do it. I as a younger adult could relate a lot better to the previous two Doctors because I like their passion and their drive and their wit. Matt doesn't possess any of these qualities. He looks like a younger actor and don't get me started on his companion, BBC, if you are reading this (as unlikely as that may be) consider this a formal complaint. And also, if you are looking for say, a Thirteenth incarnation of The Doctor, who is younger, not bad looking (in my and Melissa's opinion), a great actor (ask anyone who knows me), and one who is one with his emotions and is capable of putting himself into a role, and not afraid to relocate, consider this as an offer. Now that that is out of the way, I would like to conclude in saying that I do not plan on watching anymore episodes until a Dalek zaps Matt Smith and he turns into an acceptable Doctor.

The Snake Story



I was on my way from work to the beach. Some friends of mine and my fiancée' were waiting for me. It was raining and I had just put gas in my car. Little did I know that this night I would fight for my life, literally. Going down17, I was listening to Renegade by Styx when it happened; you see they were doing some construction on the road earlier that day. I felt a bump and suddenly my car went out of control. A tire blowout. I managed to swerve to the left side of the road and stop the car. I walked out to find my tire shredded to pieces. It was raining torrents at this point, the ditch behind me was flooding, had to have been at least a foot of water. There lurked an assassin, waiting for the perfect time to strike. I could not procure any assistance from anyone, I was on my own, changing the tire to the spare doughnut I had in the trunk. I had grabbed the wrong jack tool and went to get another. I had to use a phonebook that I had in my trunk to support the jack because of the immense amount of mud, it worked like a charm. I turned around after having gotten my tire off; it was just like a horror movie. Lightning cracked, light illuminated a water moccasin ready to strike as I grabbed for the spare tire, it struk. I dodged it as it slithered up to me, striking at me, four feet long. I grabbed the old tire and flung it, it only caught the end of the snake, doing no harm that I could see. I grabbed my tire tool, a crossed tire tool and hit the snake, it laid there, I grabbed for the two foot bar that I had and approached the snake which moved towards me. I clubbed it on the head, pinning it to the ground I placed my foot on it preventing the strike and bashed it repeatedly with the rod until I was sure it was dead. I stared at my nemesis for a moment, shocked, I never thought I would kill a snake, but I had, brutally. I threw the snake's corpse in the water and completed the work of replacing the tire. I headed home. The moral of this story, you never know what you are capable of until you have no choice but to find out. Also, always bring spare stuff that will help you change a tire and survive a random snake attack.

"That concludes the first installment of RandomPages of the New Year. The story about the snake is true down to the last detail. I was going to write more but I am tired right now. I will write again really soon. I hope you all have a great New Year and I wish all the happiness in the world to you.*

Disclaimer: The preceding statements are my opinions, opinions are like butts, everyone has one but nobody likes to hear someone else's. I would like to apologize beforehand for any misunderstandings or whatever, most notably Matt Smith, I personally don't like you as an actor but I am sure you are a great guy, perhaps you should try sculptor modeling, you don't have to move or have expressions for that. The spider people from Doctor Who, sorry I couldn't remember how to spell your names. The BBC just in case. And anyone else who finds offense to this. Sen, Bryan